365 Days: The Wake Up Call

On Sunday, I woke up pretty early and felt quite determined to start my training for the Hampton Court half marathon.

I haven't run for months so I knew that it wasn't going to be much fun. In a word, it was AWFUL! I was still recovering from a really chesty cough plus being horrendously unfit. The first km was fine and after that, it was agony. I couldn't run the whole way, I had to stop twice to catch my breath because my chest was in so much pain. I was really unhappy with how far I've let myself go. I can still remember what I felt like when I used to be able to run 2 or 3 10ks in a week and now I can't even run 3km without stopping for a break.

I know that in the last few months I've really not treated my body well. I've over eaten, drank way too much booze and not done nearly enough exercise. I knew it wasn't going to be a good run because of all of this but it was definitely a wake up call as to how much work I have to do to get back into shape. My fitness is something I always used to value, even when I was still over weight I was quite fit so I was happy that I could run and not feel like I was struggling. 

In a way, it's a good starting point because it can't get any worse. I mean, not unless I fall over or run in front of a car or something. So, it can only get better from this point onwards. I can only hope that the next time I go out on a run, I can get the whole way round without stopping and then I'll think about extending my running route.

I've done 3km now, only 18 more to train for. I've made a start and that's the main thing. Just need to keep going now.... things can only get better......

Check back soon for more runs and hopefully, more updates on weight loss.

Megan :)

365 Days: Do It Together!

For a lot of us trying to lose weight, half the battle is staying motivated. Staying accountable. This has always been really tough for me - going it alone always ends up with me giving up, buying a box of pity chocolates and demolishing them in one sitting. 

This time around, I've got my lovely man to do it with. We've come to agreement that we are doing this together. Each week, we have set ourselves the target of losing 3lbs between us. (Or 1.5lbs each) We are putting £5 each into a kitty - if we lose the weight, we can keep the money or spend it on a treat, or stick it savings for up and coming events. If we don't lose the weight, we pick a charity to donate the money to each week. So, we'll see over the next few weeks how much money we can save and how much of it goes to charity. 

I think it's really important to have a support network around you when you are trying to lose weight. It can get really tough, especially if the weight is coming off or you're working really hard and still not seeing the results you want. At that point, it's vital to have people around you who understand what you are going through and are able to keep you focused whilst you get through the dreaded plateaus. 

The times that I have been most successful are the times where I've been focused on my weight loss with someone else, doing a scheme such as Weight Watchers or training as part of a team. 

This week, I started training for the half marathon in February, and using the running app strava. It's a brilliant way of being held accountable. Lots of my friends are on strava and follow me, some of them are doing the half marathon with me so it's great that they can see when I run. It also means that if they go out for a training run, I can see it which will (hopefully) motivate me more to get out, pounding the pavement. 

The plan with Martin is to get back to swimming.... at least that was the plan until we found out that our local pool is closing until the new year so that they can re-tile it all. So, that has put that part of the plan on hold. We are going to have to rethink these strategies to work out ways of working out together outside of the swimming pool. He refuses to come running with me though - which is sad because I think the competitive streak in me would come out and make me run further if there was someone with me. 

Looking forward to getting onto some longer runs over the next few weeks. 

Check in soon,

Megan :) 

365 Days: Have Something To Work Towards!

With no sign of things calming down at work at the moment, I've had to give myself some serious goals to work towards. The last few weeks have been literally mental! Half term came and went in the blink of an eye. I spent the week off seeing friends, catching up on sleep, being treated to a night away for our anniversary...... and not much time at all working out. I did lots and lots of walking but no runs, no swims, no classes..... NOT GOOD!

So, because it seems I cannot get myself exercising unless I have a goal to work towards, I have set myself two challenges between now and February half term! The aim is to get me up and moving around so that some of this spare tyre goes away. I'd like to look a little slimmer in the family Christmas photos this year!

The first challenge I have set myself is a swim challenge. At my gym, the pool has this gadget called a SwimTag. I'd never heard of it before until I started swimming there - basically, it's a pedometer that you wear in the water, around your wrist and it tracks your swim. How many lengths you've swam, the time you swam for, the time you rested for in the pool between your lengths, your average pace - all sorts! SwimTag links up to a website which keeps logs of all the swims you have done whilst wearing a swimtag wrist band.

Another feature of the website, is it's virtual challenge set up. You can 'swim' around parts of the world, different landmarks, cities, islands, canals etc. It's great fun and a little challenge never hurt anyone. My parents when to Venice for their wedding anniversary this year and had a wonderful time and because of that, I have set myself the challenge to swim around Venice before Christmas. Every time I swim, I will put on a swimtag and it should update the meters I swim in the pool online. I have to finish the challenge by Dec 31st this year. I want to start a new swim challenge in the new year.

I've not done my first swim yet, but once I have, I'll screen shot the updates and post them in a blog entry.

The second challenge that I have given myself is a little more long term. I am going to run a half marathon in February. The Hampton Court half marathon. It's been a long time since I have done any running and even longer since I've been in a run/race (apart from my triathlon). The longest distance I have ever run is a 10K so I am really excited to push myself past my last achievement and extend my running ability.

Also, for me, running is the best way to shift some pounds. So to have a major goal, which means major training, will hopefully really get the weight dropping off. First training happening today - hopefully do 5km and see what my time is like. I've got a long time to train so I'm hoping to bring my times down on my distances as well as get used to longer runs.

I downloaded Strava onto my phone yesterday to track my running and I've added a few friends who are also training for the half marathon. Just another way to keep myself accountable. If I see that they are running and I haven't... I'm sure as hell going to need to go for a run too! Hopefully, that'll mean we all do a good amount of training before the run.

I'm actually really excited for this half marathon, it'll be a great way to get to my goal, really improve my fitness and muscle tone and it'll be a huge achievement which should spur me on to keep going. As the race approaches in February, sign ups should open for my next HumanRace triathlon too - just another event to work towards.

Stay tuned for updates on my first few workouts working towards both of my challenges!

Megan  

365 Days: Sometimes life happens.... and that's okay.

I've been talking to a few of my friends about this blog and they've said that they like it because it's so honest... and that is something that I always strive to be.

I am not a fitness queen, I do not eat well all the time, I do work out enough. I am aware of all of that. What I am is honest and hard working and I have a goal in mind.

This week was exactly what I thought it would be - manic! I didn't make it to the gym once, I ate a lot of chocolate as I was going through all my assessments for my class this half term! Maths, reading, and writing for 34 kids is a lot of hours.... and that requires chocolate to keep going. I have not and never will have an iron will power that lets me be perfect all the time. And hell, if being perfect all the time and eating X amount of calories a day.... I don't want to be. I like cake and chocolate and cheat nights. That is life - we can't be on point every day, all day for ever. It's not realistic.

What I can do is try my best to get it right most of the time. Work small amounts into my already hectic routine and be careful with what I eat.

When I was 17 and going through some pretty rough times, I would punish myself for 'falling off the wagon'. I would starve myself for a day or more if I ate what I deemed to be the 'wrong' food or too much food. I'd totally restrict myself of as much food as possible and then binge when I was starving and the cycle would start again. So, over the years, I have learned that restriction is not the answer for me. It only leads to binge episodes and a downward spiral.

Only thing that I have definitely learned over the last 4 years of weight loss and weight gain, is that life happens. Someone throws a party - go and have fun (ie drink a bit too much alcohol). Someone has a birthday at work - have a slice of cake with them. You have a really crappy week at work and you can't be bothered to cook - order a pizza. It's life. Live it.

Okay, so don't do that every time something goes wrong and don't totally blow out every party but it is okay to let go every now and again and forget that you're on a diet.

It's a lifestyle, a life long decision and personally, I don't think it's realistic to never eat cake, or to never have a glass of wine on a Friday. You have to be realistic. I mean, sure, if I had better will power, I was more rigid in my routine and my diet, I'd lose the weight faster, but I'd be bored as hell and have no fun....

So, this week, I haven't gotten on the scale. I know that I won't have lost any weight, so why give myself the moral shattering moment of actually seeing that. I know that this week I have to get back on track a little and I will. But I'm also not going to obsess over the fact that this past week has not been good. I will reach my goal and I will succeed.

But I'm going to eat the odd bar of chocolate along the way.

I hope that in some ways, some where, someone reading this can relate and maybe this will make someone feel like they aren't failing or doing badly because they too, haven't had the best week either.

I'm not going to write things that aren't true, nor will I apologise for that - this is my reality, this is how I will achieve my goals and this is what my life is really like.

I hope this reaches other very busy, very driven chocoholics.

Check in soon.

Megan.

365 Days To Make A Real Change!

They say bad things come in threes, don't they? Well I think 'warnings' come in threes too!

As some of you may be aware, I've struggled with my weight for a number of years, gaining and losing various amounts of weight but never managing to get down to the real weight I wanted to and keeping it off. There have been numerous reasons for this, including a serious injury, depression, laziness, being happy in a relationship is the newest addition to this list. And yes, they are all also excuses as to why I have lost control and gained weight again.

I had three 'warnings' hit me in quite quick succession that told me a few things that lead to one conclusion. You are out of control, you have gained a significant amount of weight in a rather short space of time, you are NOT happy with the way your body looks at the moment. The conclusion being - Megan, it is time to take back control and get yourself sorted out! You deserve to feel as happy in your body as you are with the rest of your life.

Even writing that, highlights to me one vital change from every other time that I have started to lose weight. In the past, it has very much been a 'if I lose weight, everything will sort itself out and I will be happy' and then I lost weight.... and everything wasn't okay and I wasn't happy. So, I would give up and lose interest and motivation and I'd put weight back on.

Now, when I actually think about it. I am very happy with myself. I love my career, I have an amazing partner who loves me regardless of how big I am or what clothes I can or can't fit into. I have finally realised that the happiness that I feel within myself has very little to do with the number on a scale. I can now appreciate just how lucky I am and what a fab life I have. I know that I would feel more comfortable in myself if I was slightly smaller and slightly fitter but it doesn't directly impact the person that I am or the happiness in my life now. So, that was a big positive step for me.

On to these 'warning' signs! I got home from a very lovely holiday in Croatia with Martin, and although we had had a wonderful time, I have a gorgeous tan, lovely natural highlights, I was very aware of my tummy in all the photos we had taken when we were out there. I had noticed, whilst on the beach, that I was one of very few women in a bikini. Now, there were women bigger and smaller than me in a bikini and I am in no way saying that larger women should not be in a two piece. Quite the opposite, they should wear whatever the hell they are comfortable in. But that was the problem, I really wasn't comfortable exposing my large, wobbly belly on the beach! For me, that is a terrifying concept, to show off the part of me I really dislike was a big no-no! I looked at women all over the beach of each shape and height and really envied them and their comfort in their own bodies!  

The second warning sign was a really tough one for me to get over! It was pretty embarrassing really. Martin and I went away for a mini break up to Stratford-upon-Avon for his birthday over the weekend, which was so lovely! However, on the second to last day, I was getting dressed and realised that all the t-shirts I had packed were a little on the tight side... the moment when you have to ask your boyfriend to lend you some clothes because yours don't fit. I felt so uncomfortable in my own body, even in front of my boyfriend, to not be able to wear my own clothes!

The third sign was soul destroying. I don't know about other women, but I have a go to dress that is lovely and I feel beautiful in - and it has ALWAYS fit me, even when I've put on weight. Well, I wanted to wear it to a wedding reception recently and surprise surprise, it didn't fit me. Not even close to fitting me! At that point, I really couldn't ignore the fact that I had reached a point where things needed to change and fast.

I actually started writing this blog a month ago. I then started teaching and life got mental! I haven't had a chance to sit down and finish this blog since August. I have also been finding it really difficult to get exercise into my routine with the amount of work I'm doing as a trainee teacher. It's really tough to get to the gym when I don't leave work until nearly 6 most days and get into work by 7:15 every morning. I know it's an excuse but it is really tough - when you're shattered after teaching all day long, the last thing you want to do is hit the gym.

I know I have to do it. I really want to do it. I had three gym classes planned this week and I physically couldn't get to any of them because, each evening, I had so much to do for work the next day. I also know that there needs to be a balance in life, work and 'play'. I really miss working out, the endorphin rush, the sweat, the ache in my muscles when I've pushed really hard! I miss that. I really want to get back into the mindset where I enjoy exercise.

So, in the last month, I've only lost a pound. Luckily, I haven't put anything on. My diet has been good with a few cheat days (but sometimes a girl has got to eat cake) and I've been feeling really healthy... just not getting any exercise in. I know that if I start to hit the exercise, the weight will start to come off especially as I'm not putting on any weight with my diet the way that it is. I just need to up my calorie burn and the weight will come off.

It's Martin and I's first anniversary on Halloween and I'm going to use that as a deadline. Next year, on our 2nd anniversary, I want to be at least 50lbs lighter. 50lbs closer to my goal weight. This morning, when I got on the scale, I was 237lbs (a horrendously embarrassing number) but this time next year - when I hit my goal - I will be at 187. That's nearly the weight I was at when I was at my fittest, playing rugby and training for at least 10 hours a week. I know that it's possible for me to get there - I've been there before. When I was 180lbs, I felt so confident, so happy in my body, I could wear whatever I wanted without having to scrutinise my body in front of a mirror before I left to go out anywhere. I didn't have to panic that something I wanted to wear wouldn't fit me or that I'd have to have a back up outfit ready just in case the one I wanted to wear wouldn't look right because of the way if fit my body.

I cannot wait to the back in that place again!

So I'm giving myself a year (okay, a year and a month) to get back to where I want to be. Hopefully, 50lbs lost or more. I'd really like people to support me, and to keep me accountable so if you want to comment, please do! Any and all encouragement would be greatly appreciated.

I'll update soon with how I'm getting on, I hope to post once a week (every Friday, once I've been on the scale but with work the way it is, that may not be possible).

Wish me luck!!