So, I haven't written anything on this blog in such a long time! Life got pretty crazy and my blogging just sort of drifted off into obscurity.
Since I last posted I've lost a stone, fallen in love, moved into a flat with my new man, put back on nearly all of the stone that I lost, landed a new job and probably a lot more along the way.
Living with a man isn't half interesting..... getting to know someone's most private habits and nuances is an interesting journey to embark on. Who knew that the way someone squeezes the toothpaste tube could be so frustrating??!!
It's been a really intense few months, bloke wise, trying to impress a new family. A new part of a family you are hoping to become a part of. The pressure of that is immense at times, making sure that I don't let my other half down, making sure that I impress the people closest to him and show them the best version of me.
For me, this all very new. I've not met a boyfriend's family since I was about 14 and you had no choice but to have tea with the family after school if you ever wanted to see your 'boyfriend' outside of the classroom. But this, this is proper, grown up, I-think-this-is-forever kind of love and meeting the family of that sort of love is quite genuinely terrifying (sometimes).
Having said that, all of the family I have met, I've loved straight away and have made me feel so welcome into their little (or actually not that little) clan. I've still got lots of family members to meet as well apparently..... so there are more nerves and anxiety and stresses to come. :P It's all part of this amazing new journey of meeting all the people who are going to be a major part of my future. I can't quite believe how stupidly happy I am, how lucky I am to have found the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with and for them to feel the same.
Because I'm so stupidly happy, the weight loss/training has gone a little off the rails which is one of the reasons I wanted to start blogging again. I think if I put more focus on writing about my weight loss and training for my next triathlon, it might encourage me to actually stay on track a little more. I'm trying to courage M (my man) to do the same. Hopefully, we can get fit and healthy together, and then enjoy being slightly slimmer on our holiday to Croatia in the summer.
I've got a triathlon in just over a month and training has been really tricky since Christmas as my back has been pretty dodgy since then. There have been weeks where I literally haven't been able to do more than walk because I've been in so much pain, which means that I'm really behind on where I'd like to be fitness wise for my upcoming event. I doubt I'm going to get a PB this time around which is quite frustrating really. I can remember the buzz I felt at the end of last year's triathlon when I knew that I could get round the course faster than I'd completed it.
I know that I am smaller than I was when I competed last year, and I still have time to slim down about but I do seem to be finding it very hard to say no to the bad foods. It's becoming all too easy to skip a workout and come home to M instead. I know that this is pretty stupid and counterproductive to feeling good about myself. Spending time with M gives me the same happy feeling that I get when I work out, and it's so much more tempting to come home for dinner and a cuddle than it is to slog it out in the pool or in a gym class.
So, this needs to change.... quite a lot of it really. The eating habits, the work out schedule, I need to stop skipping the gym to see M.... I mean, I live with him, he's not going anywhere in the extra hour that I might spend in the pool/gym.
So my new blog posts will pretty much be about my weight loss, training, eating habits. If I can hold myself accountable to my (very few) readers then maybe I'll be able to get back on the band wagon and shift some weight.
I've started to doubt myself again and started to dislike what I look like in the mirror. It was such a great time when I actually liked what I saw in the mirror and didn't worry about my big, wobbly belly during the day in whatever it was that I was wearing. I want to get back to that point. Just before Christmas, I felt really great about the way I looked and now.... I feel pretty flabby and unattractive most of the time.
So, here is to getting back on track, a pound at a time, no crazy diets, no banishing certain foods, no deprivation.... just steady, sensible training and diet. I know it works, I know that I have done it before and that I can do it again. I just need to keep it up and not let my new found love sabotage my goals.
Stay tuned in for updates.
M xx
