365 Days: The Wake Up Call

On Sunday, I woke up pretty early and felt quite determined to start my training for the Hampton Court half marathon.

I haven't run for months so I knew that it wasn't going to be much fun. In a word, it was AWFUL! I was still recovering from a really chesty cough plus being horrendously unfit. The first km was fine and after that, it was agony. I couldn't run the whole way, I had to stop twice to catch my breath because my chest was in so much pain. I was really unhappy with how far I've let myself go. I can still remember what I felt like when I used to be able to run 2 or 3 10ks in a week and now I can't even run 3km without stopping for a break.

I know that in the last few months I've really not treated my body well. I've over eaten, drank way too much booze and not done nearly enough exercise. I knew it wasn't going to be a good run because of all of this but it was definitely a wake up call as to how much work I have to do to get back into shape. My fitness is something I always used to value, even when I was still over weight I was quite fit so I was happy that I could run and not feel like I was struggling. 

In a way, it's a good starting point because it can't get any worse. I mean, not unless I fall over or run in front of a car or something. So, it can only get better from this point onwards. I can only hope that the next time I go out on a run, I can get the whole way round without stopping and then I'll think about extending my running route.

I've done 3km now, only 18 more to train for. I've made a start and that's the main thing. Just need to keep going now.... things can only get better......

Check back soon for more runs and hopefully, more updates on weight loss.

Megan :)

365 Days: Do It Together!

For a lot of us trying to lose weight, half the battle is staying motivated. Staying accountable. This has always been really tough for me - going it alone always ends up with me giving up, buying a box of pity chocolates and demolishing them in one sitting. 

This time around, I've got my lovely man to do it with. We've come to agreement that we are doing this together. Each week, we have set ourselves the target of losing 3lbs between us. (Or 1.5lbs each) We are putting £5 each into a kitty - if we lose the weight, we can keep the money or spend it on a treat, or stick it savings for up and coming events. If we don't lose the weight, we pick a charity to donate the money to each week. So, we'll see over the next few weeks how much money we can save and how much of it goes to charity. 

I think it's really important to have a support network around you when you are trying to lose weight. It can get really tough, especially if the weight is coming off or you're working really hard and still not seeing the results you want. At that point, it's vital to have people around you who understand what you are going through and are able to keep you focused whilst you get through the dreaded plateaus. 

The times that I have been most successful are the times where I've been focused on my weight loss with someone else, doing a scheme such as Weight Watchers or training as part of a team. 

This week, I started training for the half marathon in February, and using the running app strava. It's a brilliant way of being held accountable. Lots of my friends are on strava and follow me, some of them are doing the half marathon with me so it's great that they can see when I run. It also means that if they go out for a training run, I can see it which will (hopefully) motivate me more to get out, pounding the pavement. 

The plan with Martin is to get back to swimming.... at least that was the plan until we found out that our local pool is closing until the new year so that they can re-tile it all. So, that has put that part of the plan on hold. We are going to have to rethink these strategies to work out ways of working out together outside of the swimming pool. He refuses to come running with me though - which is sad because I think the competitive streak in me would come out and make me run further if there was someone with me. 

Looking forward to getting onto some longer runs over the next few weeks. 

Check in soon,

Megan :) 

365 Days: Have Something To Work Towards!

With no sign of things calming down at work at the moment, I've had to give myself some serious goals to work towards. The last few weeks have been literally mental! Half term came and went in the blink of an eye. I spent the week off seeing friends, catching up on sleep, being treated to a night away for our anniversary...... and not much time at all working out. I did lots and lots of walking but no runs, no swims, no classes..... NOT GOOD!

So, because it seems I cannot get myself exercising unless I have a goal to work towards, I have set myself two challenges between now and February half term! The aim is to get me up and moving around so that some of this spare tyre goes away. I'd like to look a little slimmer in the family Christmas photos this year!

The first challenge I have set myself is a swim challenge. At my gym, the pool has this gadget called a SwimTag. I'd never heard of it before until I started swimming there - basically, it's a pedometer that you wear in the water, around your wrist and it tracks your swim. How many lengths you've swam, the time you swam for, the time you rested for in the pool between your lengths, your average pace - all sorts! SwimTag links up to a website which keeps logs of all the swims you have done whilst wearing a swimtag wrist band.

Another feature of the website, is it's virtual challenge set up. You can 'swim' around parts of the world, different landmarks, cities, islands, canals etc. It's great fun and a little challenge never hurt anyone. My parents when to Venice for their wedding anniversary this year and had a wonderful time and because of that, I have set myself the challenge to swim around Venice before Christmas. Every time I swim, I will put on a swimtag and it should update the meters I swim in the pool online. I have to finish the challenge by Dec 31st this year. I want to start a new swim challenge in the new year.

I've not done my first swim yet, but once I have, I'll screen shot the updates and post them in a blog entry.

The second challenge that I have given myself is a little more long term. I am going to run a half marathon in February. The Hampton Court half marathon. It's been a long time since I have done any running and even longer since I've been in a run/race (apart from my triathlon). The longest distance I have ever run is a 10K so I am really excited to push myself past my last achievement and extend my running ability.

Also, for me, running is the best way to shift some pounds. So to have a major goal, which means major training, will hopefully really get the weight dropping off. First training happening today - hopefully do 5km and see what my time is like. I've got a long time to train so I'm hoping to bring my times down on my distances as well as get used to longer runs.

I downloaded Strava onto my phone yesterday to track my running and I've added a few friends who are also training for the half marathon. Just another way to keep myself accountable. If I see that they are running and I haven't... I'm sure as hell going to need to go for a run too! Hopefully, that'll mean we all do a good amount of training before the run.

I'm actually really excited for this half marathon, it'll be a great way to get to my goal, really improve my fitness and muscle tone and it'll be a huge achievement which should spur me on to keep going. As the race approaches in February, sign ups should open for my next HumanRace triathlon too - just another event to work towards.

Stay tuned for updates on my first few workouts working towards both of my challenges!

Megan  

365 Days: Sometimes life happens.... and that's okay.

I've been talking to a few of my friends about this blog and they've said that they like it because it's so honest... and that is something that I always strive to be.

I am not a fitness queen, I do not eat well all the time, I do work out enough. I am aware of all of that. What I am is honest and hard working and I have a goal in mind.

This week was exactly what I thought it would be - manic! I didn't make it to the gym once, I ate a lot of chocolate as I was going through all my assessments for my class this half term! Maths, reading, and writing for 34 kids is a lot of hours.... and that requires chocolate to keep going. I have not and never will have an iron will power that lets me be perfect all the time. And hell, if being perfect all the time and eating X amount of calories a day.... I don't want to be. I like cake and chocolate and cheat nights. That is life - we can't be on point every day, all day for ever. It's not realistic.

What I can do is try my best to get it right most of the time. Work small amounts into my already hectic routine and be careful with what I eat.

When I was 17 and going through some pretty rough times, I would punish myself for 'falling off the wagon'. I would starve myself for a day or more if I ate what I deemed to be the 'wrong' food or too much food. I'd totally restrict myself of as much food as possible and then binge when I was starving and the cycle would start again. So, over the years, I have learned that restriction is not the answer for me. It only leads to binge episodes and a downward spiral.

Only thing that I have definitely learned over the last 4 years of weight loss and weight gain, is that life happens. Someone throws a party - go and have fun (ie drink a bit too much alcohol). Someone has a birthday at work - have a slice of cake with them. You have a really crappy week at work and you can't be bothered to cook - order a pizza. It's life. Live it.

Okay, so don't do that every time something goes wrong and don't totally blow out every party but it is okay to let go every now and again and forget that you're on a diet.

It's a lifestyle, a life long decision and personally, I don't think it's realistic to never eat cake, or to never have a glass of wine on a Friday. You have to be realistic. I mean, sure, if I had better will power, I was more rigid in my routine and my diet, I'd lose the weight faster, but I'd be bored as hell and have no fun....

So, this week, I haven't gotten on the scale. I know that I won't have lost any weight, so why give myself the moral shattering moment of actually seeing that. I know that this week I have to get back on track a little and I will. But I'm also not going to obsess over the fact that this past week has not been good. I will reach my goal and I will succeed.

But I'm going to eat the odd bar of chocolate along the way.

I hope that in some ways, some where, someone reading this can relate and maybe this will make someone feel like they aren't failing or doing badly because they too, haven't had the best week either.

I'm not going to write things that aren't true, nor will I apologise for that - this is my reality, this is how I will achieve my goals and this is what my life is really like.

I hope this reaches other very busy, very driven chocoholics.

Check in soon.

Megan.

365 Days: 47lbs To Go!

What a week! Work was so busy I didn't make it to the gym once. I was doing 12 hour days+ at school this week. I'm a trainee teacher and as I take on more of the teaching, it means more marking which means more hours in school after the children have gone and it means more planning - which means more hours! Not that I'm complaining. I love my job, it's full on, it's really tough. Some days suck - I ended up having a little cry in the ladies toilet on Wednesday because on my lessons was pretty awful. But then I got some great feedback on an observation the next day and I was really pleased.

So yeah, my job can be manic and it also means that I don't get to the gym much.... however, because my week was so hectic and I was running here and there and everywhere around school. Plus, my diet was pretty on point this week and.... I lost 2lbs!!! Hooray!

I was getting a little worried because I wasn't getting to the gym. I thought that maybe I wouldn't drop any weight but I got on the scale on Friday morning to a really lovely surprise. I'm really motivated now to keep it going for another week. I love how one good result can give you the push to up your efforts again going into the next week.

I've cut out a lot of carbs in my diet over the last week as well and I feel like my tummy is much less bloated than it was. I don't think that will effect my weight loss much but I do feel as though it looks better so I feel more confident in myself.

This week at work is going to be even more manic than the last and my evenings are looking pretty full too with a work meal, book club, dog sitting at my parents (at least I'll be walking the dog) and Cubs. So I'm not planning on getting to the gym at all this week - there is no point trying to cram everything in and then not have any energy for work. This week, it's really important that I am 100% on form at work so am not doing anything to jeopardise that. I'm pretty sure it'll be another week of dashing around and running on alll cylinders at all times so hopefully that will burn some extra calories and I'll just have to make sure that my diet is really good again. No snacks, low carb, low sugar. That seems to be working so far.

The week after that is half term so I have a week to really ramp up my exercise, swimming, dog walking, a few runs maybe and then Martin and I are off to Portsmouth for our first anniversary. Looking forward to that very much,

Just need to push on through the next 5 days - they are going to be manic, but at least they'll fly by.

So, 47lbs to go on my first goal. Really pleased with my progress so far. Looking forward to getting on the scale next Friday and hopefully seeing another loss.

Thanks for reading,
Check in next week,

Megan

365 Days: 49lbs To Go

One week down, one pound gone. Which I suppose is fine. It's progress but I can't say that I'm completely happy with it.

I was at a wedding at the weekend so that was a write off straight away. Booze, wedding food, more booze.... no amount of crazy dancing on a dance floor can work that off. So I wasn't really expecting to see a massive loss on the scale but I was hoping for more than a pound.

I wasn't well for two days this week which didn't help. I wasn't really able to do a lot. On Tuesday I was feeling pretty rough but decided to still head for a swim. I had a pounding headache and by the time I'd done 20 lengths, my head was all over the place. I didn't have any energy left at all.... turns out I'd picked up a bug from a delightful child at school and spent the best part of the night in the bathroom (so for the overshare).... so Wednesday was a right off, I was really shaky and cold. I could just about handle toast but wasn't up to eating much at all. So that was 2 gym classes that I didn't make it to this week.

Thursday was better, I was feeling much more myself so decided to ramp it up a little to try and compensate for the wedding so I went to Zumba and danced my arse off (I was hoping for that to be literally as well) and after that went for a swim. I did 600meters in the pool after my hour long Zumba class and felt really good for it.

I felt like my diet has been okay since Monday, we're ignoring the wedding weekend, not too many carbs, lots of veg and fish....

This week has shown me that I need to ramp it up again with the exercise. I'm always hungry at the moment so don't really want to cut more food out of my diet so my only option is workout more. Need to find some more time in the week where I can get to a class or hit the pavement for a run... that is if I can still fit into my running shorts.

A little downer on this at the moment is that whilst it's taken me the best part of a month to lose 2 pounds, Martin has a lost a stone in that time. I'm really pleased for him, he's doing really well but it's a little frustrating where I'm the one trying to get down the gym and increase my exercise. I'm the one who's cut bread out almost completely from my diet and yet I'm not loosing any weight. It's really frustrating, I don't want to get all bitchy at him for it or be pissy but it is really disheartening to see that my efforts aren't paying off as quickly as his.

Anyway, just need to carry on with how I am doing at the moment, try and get in more exercise and see how that works out. Think I might start the 30 day squat challenge in the next couple of weeks too. I want to get the tone back in my thighs. They are in serious need of some attention at the moment.

So 49lbs to go, here's to the next 7 days.

Check in again soon with more progress.

Thanks for reading.
M x

365 Days To Make A Real Change!

They say bad things come in threes, don't they? Well I think 'warnings' come in threes too!

As some of you may be aware, I've struggled with my weight for a number of years, gaining and losing various amounts of weight but never managing to get down to the real weight I wanted to and keeping it off. There have been numerous reasons for this, including a serious injury, depression, laziness, being happy in a relationship is the newest addition to this list. And yes, they are all also excuses as to why I have lost control and gained weight again.

I had three 'warnings' hit me in quite quick succession that told me a few things that lead to one conclusion. You are out of control, you have gained a significant amount of weight in a rather short space of time, you are NOT happy with the way your body looks at the moment. The conclusion being - Megan, it is time to take back control and get yourself sorted out! You deserve to feel as happy in your body as you are with the rest of your life.

Even writing that, highlights to me one vital change from every other time that I have started to lose weight. In the past, it has very much been a 'if I lose weight, everything will sort itself out and I will be happy' and then I lost weight.... and everything wasn't okay and I wasn't happy. So, I would give up and lose interest and motivation and I'd put weight back on.

Now, when I actually think about it. I am very happy with myself. I love my career, I have an amazing partner who loves me regardless of how big I am or what clothes I can or can't fit into. I have finally realised that the happiness that I feel within myself has very little to do with the number on a scale. I can now appreciate just how lucky I am and what a fab life I have. I know that I would feel more comfortable in myself if I was slightly smaller and slightly fitter but it doesn't directly impact the person that I am or the happiness in my life now. So, that was a big positive step for me.

On to these 'warning' signs! I got home from a very lovely holiday in Croatia with Martin, and although we had had a wonderful time, I have a gorgeous tan, lovely natural highlights, I was very aware of my tummy in all the photos we had taken when we were out there. I had noticed, whilst on the beach, that I was one of very few women in a bikini. Now, there were women bigger and smaller than me in a bikini and I am in no way saying that larger women should not be in a two piece. Quite the opposite, they should wear whatever the hell they are comfortable in. But that was the problem, I really wasn't comfortable exposing my large, wobbly belly on the beach! For me, that is a terrifying concept, to show off the part of me I really dislike was a big no-no! I looked at women all over the beach of each shape and height and really envied them and their comfort in their own bodies!  

The second warning sign was a really tough one for me to get over! It was pretty embarrassing really. Martin and I went away for a mini break up to Stratford-upon-Avon for his birthday over the weekend, which was so lovely! However, on the second to last day, I was getting dressed and realised that all the t-shirts I had packed were a little on the tight side... the moment when you have to ask your boyfriend to lend you some clothes because yours don't fit. I felt so uncomfortable in my own body, even in front of my boyfriend, to not be able to wear my own clothes!

The third sign was soul destroying. I don't know about other women, but I have a go to dress that is lovely and I feel beautiful in - and it has ALWAYS fit me, even when I've put on weight. Well, I wanted to wear it to a wedding reception recently and surprise surprise, it didn't fit me. Not even close to fitting me! At that point, I really couldn't ignore the fact that I had reached a point where things needed to change and fast.

I actually started writing this blog a month ago. I then started teaching and life got mental! I haven't had a chance to sit down and finish this blog since August. I have also been finding it really difficult to get exercise into my routine with the amount of work I'm doing as a trainee teacher. It's really tough to get to the gym when I don't leave work until nearly 6 most days and get into work by 7:15 every morning. I know it's an excuse but it is really tough - when you're shattered after teaching all day long, the last thing you want to do is hit the gym.

I know I have to do it. I really want to do it. I had three gym classes planned this week and I physically couldn't get to any of them because, each evening, I had so much to do for work the next day. I also know that there needs to be a balance in life, work and 'play'. I really miss working out, the endorphin rush, the sweat, the ache in my muscles when I've pushed really hard! I miss that. I really want to get back into the mindset where I enjoy exercise.

So, in the last month, I've only lost a pound. Luckily, I haven't put anything on. My diet has been good with a few cheat days (but sometimes a girl has got to eat cake) and I've been feeling really healthy... just not getting any exercise in. I know that if I start to hit the exercise, the weight will start to come off especially as I'm not putting on any weight with my diet the way that it is. I just need to up my calorie burn and the weight will come off.

It's Martin and I's first anniversary on Halloween and I'm going to use that as a deadline. Next year, on our 2nd anniversary, I want to be at least 50lbs lighter. 50lbs closer to my goal weight. This morning, when I got on the scale, I was 237lbs (a horrendously embarrassing number) but this time next year - when I hit my goal - I will be at 187. That's nearly the weight I was at when I was at my fittest, playing rugby and training for at least 10 hours a week. I know that it's possible for me to get there - I've been there before. When I was 180lbs, I felt so confident, so happy in my body, I could wear whatever I wanted without having to scrutinise my body in front of a mirror before I left to go out anywhere. I didn't have to panic that something I wanted to wear wouldn't fit me or that I'd have to have a back up outfit ready just in case the one I wanted to wear wouldn't look right because of the way if fit my body.

I cannot wait to the back in that place again!

So I'm giving myself a year (okay, a year and a month) to get back to where I want to be. Hopefully, 50lbs lost or more. I'd really like people to support me, and to keep me accountable so if you want to comment, please do! Any and all encouragement would be greatly appreciated.

I'll update soon with how I'm getting on, I hope to post once a week (every Friday, once I've been on the scale but with work the way it is, that may not be possible).

Wish me luck!!

Triathlon Number Three

So, today, I competed in my third triathlon event. It was at Dorney Lake in Windsor (UK). It's such a beautiful place to take part in an event like this. The course is great, the event is run by Human Race and it's always a brilliant day. Novice and experienced triathletes alike join together to fund raise, work hard and complete a major physical challenge.

Going into it this year, I was really apprehensive. I hadn't done nearly enough training - read next to nothing. I've hit a few snags along the way since my last triathlon, which have made it really hard to stay focused and committing to training. For starters, around Christmas/New Year, my anxiety attacks came back quite violently and I wasn't really in any mood to do any training at all. Winter is always the hardest time of year for me to train anyway. Who wants to be out in the freezing cold on a bike or pounding the pavement when it's -2 degrees outside?

Then I put my back out really badly which meant that any sort of exercise that wasn't swimming was incredibly painful. I couldn't cycle or run from January to May so my time window for real training shrunk dramatically due to injury. Also, being in a new relationship very much so (no matter how wrongly) affected my training schedule. I mean, if you had the option of early Sunday morning 5km run or staying in for breakfast in bed with a movie and the boyfriend..... which would you choose?

When I started my triathlon this morning, I hadn't cycled for a month and I hadn't done any brick training.... I was definitely feeling under prepared and very nervous that I wasn't going to be able to make it round the course without bursting into tears or at all.

However, by some sort of miracle, I did it! Not quite my PB but not far off and considering my near total lack of training I am so proud of myself. I wanted under 1hour 45mins and I completed it in 1hour 41mins, only 4 minutes slower than my PB anyway. I am so impressed that I still managed to get round in a really decent time and next year, if I actually do some training, I might even get a new PB.

For me this year, I actually felt my most comfortable the whole way round the course. Even on the run, which is always my worst section out of the three, I felt really calm and in control. I hurt from the word go, straight out of transition my legs were burning and I had a killer stitch for the first km and half. But I knew that if I stopped jogging and started walking, I'd never get going again. I just kept going steadily and made myself little goals so that I was constantly thinking about my next one, not worrying about how much distance I had left to run.

For example, 'run to the next bridge', 'just get to the next meter marker', 'keep going until that bottle thrown on the floor'. So, yeah, not always the most exciting goals but enough to keep my going. I also threw myself into encouraging every person who ran past me in the other direction to keep going. It was a great way to distract myself from actually running. Basically, anything to keep myself going and not think about running was a great help.

I was so happy that I finished and proud that I made it round. I'm still not where I want to be with the way I look. I was hoping to be at my goal weight for this triathlon but life sort of happened and not all the weight came off. I was really worried about posting these photos but then I looked at some of the photos from last years triathlon, and I can see some changes in my body.

My face is so much thinner. The photo on the left (above) is me at the end of the triathlon last year, and the picture on the right, is me at the beginning of this years. My cheeks are flatter, my chin and jaw line are more defined. 

Same again, left is last year, right is this year. I think this year, my thighs are slimmer, there's more definition around my knee, my stomach is flatter.

I haven't made the progress that I wanted to, but I have made progress and I know that if I keep going (and get back to training a little more) I'll get there. I'm trying to learn to appreciate even the small changes that I can see..... even if they aren't what I wanted initially.

I can't wait for sign up to open for next year so that I can get ready to compete again! Definitely one of the highlights of my year.

Check back in soon!!

M xx

A Very Long Absence....

So, I haven't written anything on this blog in such a long time! Life got pretty crazy and my blogging just sort of drifted off into obscurity.

Since I last posted I've lost a stone, fallen in love, moved into a flat with my new man, put back on nearly all of the stone that I lost, landed a new job and probably a lot more along the way.

Living with a man isn't half interesting..... getting to know someone's most private habits and nuances is an interesting journey to embark on. Who knew that the way someone squeezes the toothpaste tube could be so frustrating??!!

It's been a really intense few months, bloke wise, trying to impress a new family. A new part of a family you are hoping to become a part of. The pressure of that is immense at times, making sure that I don't let my other half down, making sure that I impress the people closest to him and show them the best version of me.

For me, this all very new. I've not met a boyfriend's family since I was about 14 and you had no choice but to have tea with the family after school if you ever wanted to see your 'boyfriend' outside of the classroom. But this, this is proper, grown up, I-think-this-is-forever kind of love and meeting the family of that sort of love is quite genuinely terrifying (sometimes).

Having said that, all of the family I have met, I've loved straight away and have made me feel so welcome into their little (or actually not that little) clan. I've still got lots of family members to meet as well apparently..... so there are more nerves and anxiety and stresses to come. :P It's all part of this amazing new journey of meeting all the people who are going to be a major part of my future. I can't quite believe how stupidly happy I am, how lucky I am to have found the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with and for them to feel the same.

Because I'm so stupidly happy, the weight loss/training has gone a little off the rails which is one of the reasons I wanted to start blogging again. I think if I put more focus on writing about my weight loss and training for my next triathlon, it might encourage me to actually stay on track a little more. I'm trying to courage M (my man) to do the same. Hopefully, we can get fit and healthy together, and then enjoy being slightly slimmer on our holiday to Croatia in the summer.

I've got a triathlon in just over a month and training has been really tricky since Christmas as my back has been pretty dodgy since then. There have been weeks where I literally haven't been able to do more than walk because I've been in so much pain, which means that I'm really behind on where I'd like to be fitness wise for my upcoming event. I doubt I'm going to get a PB this time around which is quite frustrating really. I can remember the buzz I felt at the end of last year's triathlon when I knew that I could get round the course faster than I'd completed it.

I know that I am smaller than I was when I competed last year, and I still have time to slim down about but I do seem to be finding it very hard to say no to the bad foods. It's becoming all too easy to skip a workout and come home to M instead. I know that this is pretty stupid and counterproductive to feeling good about myself. Spending time with M gives me the same happy feeling that I get when I work out, and it's so much more tempting to come home for dinner and a cuddle than it is to slog it out in the pool or in a gym class.

So, this needs to change.... quite a lot of it really. The eating habits, the work out schedule, I need to stop skipping the gym to see M.... I mean, I live with him, he's not going anywhere in the extra hour that I might spend in the pool/gym.

So my new blog posts will pretty much be about my weight loss, training, eating habits. If I can hold myself accountable to my (very few) readers then maybe I'll be able to get back on the band wagon and shift some weight.

I've started to doubt myself again and started to dislike what I look like in the mirror. It was such a great time when I actually liked what I saw in the mirror and didn't worry about my big, wobbly belly during the day in whatever it was that I was wearing. I want to get back to that point. Just before Christmas, I felt really great about the way I looked and now.... I feel pretty flabby and unattractive most of the time.

So, here is to getting back on track, a pound at a time, no crazy diets, no banishing certain foods, no deprivation.... just steady, sensible training and diet. I know it works, I know that I have done it before and that I can do it again. I just need to keep it up and not let my new found love sabotage my goals.

Stay tuned in for updates.

M xx