365 Days: Sometimes life happens.... and that's okay.

I've been talking to a few of my friends about this blog and they've said that they like it because it's so honest... and that is something that I always strive to be.

I am not a fitness queen, I do not eat well all the time, I do work out enough. I am aware of all of that. What I am is honest and hard working and I have a goal in mind.

This week was exactly what I thought it would be - manic! I didn't make it to the gym once, I ate a lot of chocolate as I was going through all my assessments for my class this half term! Maths, reading, and writing for 34 kids is a lot of hours.... and that requires chocolate to keep going. I have not and never will have an iron will power that lets me be perfect all the time. And hell, if being perfect all the time and eating X amount of calories a day.... I don't want to be. I like cake and chocolate and cheat nights. That is life - we can't be on point every day, all day for ever. It's not realistic.

What I can do is try my best to get it right most of the time. Work small amounts into my already hectic routine and be careful with what I eat.

When I was 17 and going through some pretty rough times, I would punish myself for 'falling off the wagon'. I would starve myself for a day or more if I ate what I deemed to be the 'wrong' food or too much food. I'd totally restrict myself of as much food as possible and then binge when I was starving and the cycle would start again. So, over the years, I have learned that restriction is not the answer for me. It only leads to binge episodes and a downward spiral.

Only thing that I have definitely learned over the last 4 years of weight loss and weight gain, is that life happens. Someone throws a party - go and have fun (ie drink a bit too much alcohol). Someone has a birthday at work - have a slice of cake with them. You have a really crappy week at work and you can't be bothered to cook - order a pizza. It's life. Live it.

Okay, so don't do that every time something goes wrong and don't totally blow out every party but it is okay to let go every now and again and forget that you're on a diet.

It's a lifestyle, a life long decision and personally, I don't think it's realistic to never eat cake, or to never have a glass of wine on a Friday. You have to be realistic. I mean, sure, if I had better will power, I was more rigid in my routine and my diet, I'd lose the weight faster, but I'd be bored as hell and have no fun....

So, this week, I haven't gotten on the scale. I know that I won't have lost any weight, so why give myself the moral shattering moment of actually seeing that. I know that this week I have to get back on track a little and I will. But I'm also not going to obsess over the fact that this past week has not been good. I will reach my goal and I will succeed.

But I'm going to eat the odd bar of chocolate along the way.

I hope that in some ways, some where, someone reading this can relate and maybe this will make someone feel like they aren't failing or doing badly because they too, haven't had the best week either.

I'm not going to write things that aren't true, nor will I apologise for that - this is my reality, this is how I will achieve my goals and this is what my life is really like.

I hope this reaches other very busy, very driven chocoholics.

Check in soon.

Megan.

365 Days: 47lbs To Go!

What a week! Work was so busy I didn't make it to the gym once. I was doing 12 hour days+ at school this week. I'm a trainee teacher and as I take on more of the teaching, it means more marking which means more hours in school after the children have gone and it means more planning - which means more hours! Not that I'm complaining. I love my job, it's full on, it's really tough. Some days suck - I ended up having a little cry in the ladies toilet on Wednesday because on my lessons was pretty awful. But then I got some great feedback on an observation the next day and I was really pleased.

So yeah, my job can be manic and it also means that I don't get to the gym much.... however, because my week was so hectic and I was running here and there and everywhere around school. Plus, my diet was pretty on point this week and.... I lost 2lbs!!! Hooray!

I was getting a little worried because I wasn't getting to the gym. I thought that maybe I wouldn't drop any weight but I got on the scale on Friday morning to a really lovely surprise. I'm really motivated now to keep it going for another week. I love how one good result can give you the push to up your efforts again going into the next week.

I've cut out a lot of carbs in my diet over the last week as well and I feel like my tummy is much less bloated than it was. I don't think that will effect my weight loss much but I do feel as though it looks better so I feel more confident in myself.

This week at work is going to be even more manic than the last and my evenings are looking pretty full too with a work meal, book club, dog sitting at my parents (at least I'll be walking the dog) and Cubs. So I'm not planning on getting to the gym at all this week - there is no point trying to cram everything in and then not have any energy for work. This week, it's really important that I am 100% on form at work so am not doing anything to jeopardise that. I'm pretty sure it'll be another week of dashing around and running on alll cylinders at all times so hopefully that will burn some extra calories and I'll just have to make sure that my diet is really good again. No snacks, low carb, low sugar. That seems to be working so far.

The week after that is half term so I have a week to really ramp up my exercise, swimming, dog walking, a few runs maybe and then Martin and I are off to Portsmouth for our first anniversary. Looking forward to that very much,

Just need to push on through the next 5 days - they are going to be manic, but at least they'll fly by.

So, 47lbs to go on my first goal. Really pleased with my progress so far. Looking forward to getting on the scale next Friday and hopefully seeing another loss.

Thanks for reading,
Check in next week,

Megan

365 Days: 49lbs To Go

One week down, one pound gone. Which I suppose is fine. It's progress but I can't say that I'm completely happy with it.

I was at a wedding at the weekend so that was a write off straight away. Booze, wedding food, more booze.... no amount of crazy dancing on a dance floor can work that off. So I wasn't really expecting to see a massive loss on the scale but I was hoping for more than a pound.

I wasn't well for two days this week which didn't help. I wasn't really able to do a lot. On Tuesday I was feeling pretty rough but decided to still head for a swim. I had a pounding headache and by the time I'd done 20 lengths, my head was all over the place. I didn't have any energy left at all.... turns out I'd picked up a bug from a delightful child at school and spent the best part of the night in the bathroom (so for the overshare).... so Wednesday was a right off, I was really shaky and cold. I could just about handle toast but wasn't up to eating much at all. So that was 2 gym classes that I didn't make it to this week.

Thursday was better, I was feeling much more myself so decided to ramp it up a little to try and compensate for the wedding so I went to Zumba and danced my arse off (I was hoping for that to be literally as well) and after that went for a swim. I did 600meters in the pool after my hour long Zumba class and felt really good for it.

I felt like my diet has been okay since Monday, we're ignoring the wedding weekend, not too many carbs, lots of veg and fish....

This week has shown me that I need to ramp it up again with the exercise. I'm always hungry at the moment so don't really want to cut more food out of my diet so my only option is workout more. Need to find some more time in the week where I can get to a class or hit the pavement for a run... that is if I can still fit into my running shorts.

A little downer on this at the moment is that whilst it's taken me the best part of a month to lose 2 pounds, Martin has a lost a stone in that time. I'm really pleased for him, he's doing really well but it's a little frustrating where I'm the one trying to get down the gym and increase my exercise. I'm the one who's cut bread out almost completely from my diet and yet I'm not loosing any weight. It's really frustrating, I don't want to get all bitchy at him for it or be pissy but it is really disheartening to see that my efforts aren't paying off as quickly as his.

Anyway, just need to carry on with how I am doing at the moment, try and get in more exercise and see how that works out. Think I might start the 30 day squat challenge in the next couple of weeks too. I want to get the tone back in my thighs. They are in serious need of some attention at the moment.

So 49lbs to go, here's to the next 7 days.

Check in again soon with more progress.

Thanks for reading.
M x