My Art Endeavours

22/05/2108 - .... because I didn't have enough colouring books I bought a new one.

This one is all about fairies! It's lovely, can't wait to make this book full of beautiful, colourful, fantastical fairy creatures. This is my first go. She is a sort of floral, natural, forest dwelling nymph. I'm really happy so far.... just need to finish her headdress.






















16/8/17 - Finished piece! Lots of colour! Happy with how it turned out - took a while to get all of the flowers done!

New page with no colour yet - let's see what it looks like by the end of it. This page is a double spread. I'm going to do one page in pen and then one in pencil and see the difference. Pen first! There's a lot of hidden detail in this one - could take me a while.

12/8/17 - So not updated this as regularly as I had hoped to! Or at all for that matter. I've done quite a lot of colouring on and off over the last 2 years, collecting way too many colouring books and letting sit in a drawer for months! I've taken up colouring a lot more in the last month. I've been doing it in the evenings to keep my fingers and my mind busy to stop me from snacking.

I recently visited a friend, who is also one of my bridesmaids and a fellow colourer... and she was systematically colouring through her adult colouring book.... page after page...... which is a weird concept for me. As I'm a flicker througher and pick the picture I like best to do next, but her book looked AMAZING! All the colour and creativity was stunning and the fact that it was every page - a feast for the eyes! I had serious colouring envy. So, I have taken the first book that I ever got to colour.... the book that all the pictures in this blog post are already from and I'm going to work through it a page at a time..... it will probably take me forever to finish..... if I ever finish it but I do find it really relaxing and it stops me from creeping to the kitchen for naughty snacks. Helps with my anxiety at times too..... when I'm stressed - my colouring book is a God send!

Here is the first page of the book...... nearly completed. Just a few more sections to go.

I also completed the picture in the post below from 2 years ago! I must have finished it just after posting and then never got round to posting it. So here it is!

This book will be a challenge and I'm going to try and not skip pages.... even if they don't really take my fancy. Stay tuned for more arty pics.

Megan xx

14/06/15 - I'm putting the date as I will hopefully be updating this entry regularly with progress pictures. I will be posting the updates at the top of the page so it will read chronologically down - most recent post at the top. Hope that makes sense. 

I don't know whether to do all the flowers the same colour of to have them all slightly different? Any advice anyone? I love how this is coming along, the pencils make the picture look really soft and natural. Very pleased so far.

06/06/15:

I finished it! It took me bloomin' ages but it's done. I love it! So much detail in there that at times it made my head hurt colouring it in. 

Now to do a design in my new colouring pencils that I've mentioned before! 

Which out of these two designs do you lovely readers suggest I do next? 1 or 2?

1....

2....

25/05/15 How I spent my bank holiday....

I spent it colouring! Wahoo!!

....and I got a new set of pencils for some of the designs which need to be a little be softer than the pens. Hoping to use them on my next design maybe - will be posting a decision blog when this one is done. 

09/05/15 - Enjoyed a Friday night in with hot chocolate and Tim Minchin on the telly.... oh, and my colouring book! I've said it before and I will definitely say it again! I have a 40 year old soul instead of my actual age of 22.

My Wild Night In! 

05/05/15 - Got a few more little bits done yesterday. Still wasn't feeling brilliant and was finding it hard to concentrate. Think I've recovered properly now so should be able to get more done this week.

I love the difference between the two halves of this page! Can't wait till it's all done. 

Really coming on, I think. Still a long way to go though

02/05/15 - Not been feeling well today. Sometimes haven't even had the concentration to colour. Got a little bit more done though. Nearly half way - need to hit the sheets. I am SO tired!

01/05/15:

More colourful fun! Second project already more fun than the first! This design is so intricate! I love it. 

30/04/15 - So, after chatting to a colleague/friend today about my next project and having a flick through the book we came the decision that I should start a completely different, third, design. This is it:

There is so much detail in this one but I am going to leave the background white so that the individual sections stand out even more. 

Love how this flower is put together, there are so many sections that it allows for really intricate colour work. The only thing is, it throws my OCD out of whack as all the petals have an outline (that is pink) apart from one. It really wound me up for a while but after adding some more details around the flower, it isn't so noticeable. 

Got some of the surrounding detail sorted whilst waiting for Ballroom to start. It's such a gorgeous pattern! I love it. Can't wait to see how it all turns out. :D

29/04/15 - FINISHED! What do people think? Any good?

DONE

So, which one do people like more? Left or right? I can't work out which one I like more? 

I was away with the school this week so got to spend some down time with my art book. This is how far I got. I'm so close to finishing. Tomorrow I think I'll post two new designs that I'd like to do and ask which one my lovely readers (yes, that's you guys) decide which one I should do.

So close to completion

25/04/15 - Got another 'circle' coloured in all the different squares today. Got one more circle and then the corners to do. I love how relaxed I feel when I'm doing this. It's the ultimate time waster but it's brilliant.

It's getting there!

 24/04/15 - Been doing a lot of doodling this evening! Not feeling 100% so I am tucked up in bed with a movie and my colouring book. Very relaxing. Here is how my current piece is looking at the moment.

Getting there!

23/04/15 - I recently bought a colouring books for grown-ups as a time wasting/creative/therapeutic activity... and it is brilliant!

The Book!

I got it from a company that sell books at my work called The Book People, but you can get books like this online and in some stationary shops.

Seeing as I am now hooked I thought I might post my progress through the book on here, ask opinions on my next page and colour schemes etc. I am feeling particularly creative at the moment and am really enjoying working on my first piece in the book.

The First Piece

I really liked the way these ornate blocks are laid out, there is quite a lot of hidden detail that I hope will really jump out as I fill more and more of it in!

Stage One Done!

All the squares completed and some of the middle stars are filled in to. I love seeing how this is all starting to fit together. Still a lot of white on the page to work through though! Loving this, really glad I bought it.

Taking Back Control!! (72 days to go)

Hey everyone!

I hope you have all had a great week - achieved some goals and made a few steps along whatever journey it is you are all on at the moment.

First week of the journal done! And it was a really successful week. 4 and a half pounds off! So chuffed - hard work pays off. Sticking to the plan pays off. At the end of each week, my journal asks to list things that went well.... and praising myself is something that I still need to practise to it took a little to think of the things that I had achieved.

I'll be keeping track of my weight loss on this grid in my journal. I'm really excited to see how my weight drops on this grid over the next 11 days.

First of all, I put staying in control. I felt that this was important because I'd been out to dinner a few times over the week and had still managed to stay on plan the majority of the time, made good choices and still enjoyed the occasion without feel anxious or worried about being 'off' plan for one meal.

I also felt that I had actually enjoyed my syns this week. I had thought about what I really wanted to treat myself to and looked forward to those treats without feeling guilty. Even though syns are a part of the slimming world plan, I can still sometimes feel like I am cheating because I'm enjoying 'naughty' food but this week I looked forward to them and it was easier to just enjoy them than to worry about them..... glass of wine.... YES PLEASE!! :D

I also had to write a postcard to myself containing compliments to myself to pick me up on a down day. I'd had some really lovely compliments from friends and followers recently so I used all of them to make myself feel strong and confident if I have a bad day on this journey.

The message into week 2 was this.....

Something that I will be focusing on during the journey too. To not only treat my body better, but to treat my soul and my heart better. I am inherently negative when it comes to my appearance and my ability to change that. I believe straight away that I will fail! This week, I tried really hard to change that mindset. As some of you may have seen on my Instagram account, I gave myself permission to be successful this week - because I deserve to be! I deserve to teat myself the best way that I can, to be the best version of myself possible and to love myself for making the effort to change. To love myself now - even if I'm not where I want to be. To have a good heart.... and use it for myself not just for others! And what do you know! It works - the results speak for themselves. So this will be my mantra for the next week - let's hope I can have another great result on Tuesday.

From Google

When I went out of dinner on Monday - I actually made an effort to look nice. I'd been to the hairdresser and got a cut and blow dry! (First time I'd ever had my hair blow dried properly at the hairdresser) Having some me time was great - a little treat for myself before term starts again. Because I'd had my hair done and I was feeling kind of pretty, I figured I'd make an effort in general. I actually got my make up bag out and took my time 'putting my face on' - something I probably do once every 3 months. I really don't put make up on a lot because I can't be bothered, or don't have the time, or don't feel worthy of making myself look nice. I'm not saying that you need make up to look good either. I'm really blessed with very clear skin, so need to wear make up every day. I've got good complexion and long eyelashes. I don't need to wear make up, but I often feel like I'm not worthy of making an effort either. That's my point. 

But I really enjoyed just sitting down and pampering myself - taking the natural beauty that I have and enhancing it. My face is a lot slimmer now too - so I liked taking notice of the changes that have taken place since January as I putting my makeup on. 

The final result

                                                           

So, all in all, a really good week. I fell really uplifted by my results and am so excited of the next 7 days to see what they bring! 

72 days to go until wedding dress shopping!!! 

Stay tuned for next week. 

Megan xx

The Next 80 Days... and how to get through them!

Hi all!

So, last night was weigh in at slimming world and the results were not good post holiday. I knew they wouldn't be.... but I was still sort of shocked by how much I'd put on in ten days...... 6 and a half pounds on! EEK! But there really isn't anything gained by stressing about it. It is what it is - I've put on weight whilst on holiday and if I went back and did that holiday again I wouldn't change what I did so just got to get back on plan and get on with it.

I'm already down around 4lbs since Friday morning when we got back so that's a bonus that that didn't show on the scale!

So now, it's time to really focus. I've got the summer holiday and then start my new job. It's 79 days from today to when I go and try on wedding dresses for the first time. I've got 79 days to lose at least a stone. My slimming world consultant thinks I could lose 2 stone in that time which would be amazing! I'm going to work my hardest to get there starting with today.

When I purchased my last 12 weeks countdown, I got a summer 12 week diary for free.... and it has been sat on the side in my bedroom since the day that I was given it untouched. Seems like a total waste really, and I think it will be a tool that I need to use to keep me focused over the coming months to get me to my goal.

These will be my lifelines to keep me focused on my goals. I filled out the first few pages during my slimming world meeting last night. I've got most of my meals planned for the week ahead and some body magic goals to achieve as well. I've given myself the target of losing 3lbs this week - that's half of the weight that I put on over the holidays. I'd like to get it off in two weeks in possible and then get on with earning my club 10 award.

As some of you will have seen on Instagram this morning, I've already got on with my body magic for today. My gym offered me 30 free days sign up to Les Mills On Demand. I love all the Les Mills classes, body balance, body pump etc. but getting to the classes at the gym can be difficult with the hours that I work during term time.

Today, the weather is absolutely horrid, it's pouring with rain and I really didn't feel like leaving the house so it was the perfect opportunity to try the online services. I tried a new class that I hadn't even heard of before. Sh'Bam! It's awesome. It's very similar to Zumba.... a massive dance party basically. The moves are easy to follow and the instructors are motivating and entertaining. 45 minutes flew by and I was a sweaty mess by the end of it!

I danced so hard that I fogged up all the windows in our spare room! It felt great to get my heart rate up and burn some calories! Hoping to get out for a run in the next couple of days when the weather improves. Going to try body combat or attack next on Les Mills on demand. Try and use all the various classes before my trial runs out... .see if it's worth staying signed up as a paying member. 

Got a great dinner planned this evening and going to have a high protein snack now to aid muscle recovery after my workout. Feeling really strong and focused for the next 3 months - big changes are going to happen and I'm going to hit some serious goals! 

Have a great day everyone!!
Stay strong,
Be kind to yourself.

Megan xx

.... because you are beautiful now!

Hey everyone!

I'm back from holiday - a few days early as the weather sucked the majority of the time and we ended up walking around on a mud bath! After a lovely, all be it wet, time away it's time to get back to business.

I've been feeling a bit stuck in a rut really. When I joined Slimming World, I was really determined - I lost 1st 8lbs steadily from January to April and was really happy with the progress. Things sort of stalled there and then through various circumstances that I've mentioned in previous blog posts, the weight loss stopped. I'm still there at 1st 8lbs and have bounced around it for months. I need to get back on track and some of the photos that were taken on this holiday have acted a bit of an incentive to do so.

Firstly, posting these photos is a difficult thing for me to do. It makes me feel very exposed and vulnerable so please be kind with your thoughts and comments. If there is something that you don't like when you see the pictures - please just close my blog instead of leaving something nasty in the comments. Thanks! :)

I really ummed and eerrred about posting these. It makes me feel very nervous but I don't want to hide parts of my journey. This is the stage I am at now. I read a blog whilst I was away that really inspired me too - it was all about loving your body at every stage of the journey and that is something that I am trying to do. My body is my body no matter what size it is or what the scale says so why should I abuse it with unkindness, displeasure and self hatred - things that I have asked others not to do and wouldn't ever treat anyone else. I don't want to go through the next steps of my journey hating myself all the way. I need to love the body that I have, treat it with the respect that it deserves so that I can get to my goals faster!

Although the weather was pretty naff on holiday, we did get to the beach for a few days. Whilst we were there, my fiance took these pictures of me reading. I would normally have criticised everything I could find wrong with the pictures and then delete them. But this time, I wanted it to be different. So I decided that I would blog them instead! Why not make it all totally public??

Then a funny thing happen. The more I actually looked at the pictures, I couldn't really find anything that I hated. I mean, there are still things I want to change about my body but I don't look anywhere near as awful as I thought I would. Then I started thinking about how I felt that day on the beach. It was a great day - the sun was out, the sound of the waves roaring across the sand was in the distance, I felt relaxed and calm. I have already come so far on my journey and I am proud of the steps that I have already taken to change the person that I am into the person that I want to be.

These photos gave me such a confidence boost that I actually treated myself to a new swimsuit for the next day on the beach. This is was a HUGE step for me as I would normally want to hide my body in black and cover up as much as possible. But I am celebrating my body and trying to believe that every step is beautiful.... so I bought this.....

It's bright and patterned, halter neck and pretty much backless. I felt pretty nervous about trying it on but I was excited too. I wanted to see what I looked like in something a little more sexy.

I was really surprised to not feel repulsed by these pictures. I actually felt that I looked okay. Especially from the back, it's obviously not an angle that you normally see yourself from and I was really surprised to see how good my waist looks in this. Actually, from the back there is very little that I don't like about my body in this photo.... apart from the weird burn/tan lines that I have going on! Even from the front.... which I like less..... there isn't a lot that I can find fault with. I wish my thighs were smaller, and my stomach flatter but my boobs look great and my arms are getting all lean again! So, yes, I am loving my body at every stage....

Then I found one last photo that Martin had taken by mistake as I reached for my phone back and that was where the wobble happened..... and this is the photo that makes me really anxious about posting this blog.... this photo was taken......

And wow! I almost lost it. That tiny waist I was just looking at was gone. My thunder thighs were back and my stomach was bulging about in line with my boobs which made me so embarrassed. I mean, is this what people see when they look at me on a daily basis? How can this be my body? How could I have let myself get so out of control that this is what I look like now.....? 

I had to stop myself from bursting into tears and getting my maxi dress out of the bag to cover up. I went back to the first two photos and called back into my mind all the positive things I had said about myself. I reminded myself of how good I felt the day before lying on the beach reading, calm... at peace with myself. 

So.... my stomach is not okay right out! I am not happy with it.... yet. But there are lots of things about my body that I am happy with. I know that my body has changed lots since January because of the weight that I have already lost. I know that I still have a lot of changing to do but that is okay. 

I've got 84 days until I go wedding dress shopping, that's 84 days to make great choices with my food, my workouts and to work on my self love/worth so that when I step into those gowns and find the one that I'm going to wear on my wedding day I feel like a rock star. And I will. I will get to my target weight, I will feel and look amazing in my wedding dress and feel confident, proud and in control of eating addiction. 

I might not be happy with where I am now but I am learning to love my body now so that I can love it more later on. I will keep fighting for my goals and acknowledging the progress that I make along the way.

Love your body now.

Accept you for who you are now.

Allows yourself to see the progress that you have already made and celebrate now.

Embrace the change that is still yet to come.

You are beautiful now...... whatever stage of your journey you are at. 

Be kind to yourself

xx  

Underwater Revelations

Hey everyone!

First of all, I just want to say thank you! I couldn't believe how many views/reads that my last post got. Huge thanks to those of you who commented. Your support and encouragement is such great motivation for me! I hope you will continue to enjoy following me on my journey.

So, yesterday was weigh in day and I was really excited to see what I'd achieved. I knew that I'd been on plan this week so was hoping for big things! I lost 3lbs.... que mini celebration dance. Apparently, when you are on slimming world and stick to plan, you lose weight. Who knew?!

Feeling really motivated after my great loss and because I am now on summer holidays, I decided to go for a swim this morning. It has been way too long since I got into the pool - probably more than 6 months. Swimming is something that I love to do, it is my zen time. The pool is where I manage to get all my thoughts in order and sort out anything that is bothering me, whilst doing a little body magic and getting some toning done.

Usually, or should I say when I'm swimming regularly and have some level of physical fitness, I can swim a mile (64 lengths) in just over half an hour without question. Today was a different kettle of fish entirely. It hurt. It was hard. I had to really focus on my rhythm and my breathing - my body wasn't used to the breathing pattern I usually swim with, I was struggling to stay under the water as long I normally do. I had to shorten my stroke pattern so that I could breathe. My shoulders ached from the rotation, my kick was off. When I broke the surface or turned at the end of the lane, my face was actually hot out of the water - a sensation I am not used to. I felt so out of control, it was such a different feeling being in the pool out of practise than being in it when I can fly through the water and feel totally at one with the water. Today I was fighting it. (I realise that this sounds very zen and over dramatic but it's the best way I can describe how I was feeling this morning.)

The whole time I was swimming, I was thinking about this week and how I was proud of the successes I had made. I was thinking about how I'd managed to take back control from food demons, stay focused one meal at a time, not thinking about anything more than that, just making sure that one meal at a time I made it through the week on plan. Whilst I was thinking about one meal at a time, I was telling myself, just one more length - you can handle one more length. So I kept swimming, one length at a time and kept reflecting on my week.

I'd felt so out of control over the last month, with all the engangement celebtraions, half term, feeling unwell, being busy at work with the end of term rush..... all these things that forced me to be out of control. Then I thought about this week - I'd been to a family BBQ, it had been the end of term, I'd been to my new school for swap day where there was lots of cake and other goodies to say well done for the year and good luck for swap day. I'd been rushed - not able to always prepare meals in advance.... and I'd still lost 3lbs. How had I managed to stay in control this week and not over the last month when I had been just as busy?

That's when it hit me - Control is not a person who lives inside your head and decides to work some days and not others. Control is not something that works for you or lets you down. You are the control and chose when you want to use it. I could have decided not to indulge over the month where I was seeing friends and family who wanted to celebrate our special news. I could have chosen to not stay off plan for an extra day here or there because I'd already ruined my week. It was all my decision. This week I decided to stay in control - to embrace it, to enjoy it and to feel damn well proud of the control that I had. It felt so good to be able to go out and socialise and know that I was still sticking to plan, enjoying what I was eating and not feeling deprived even though those around me were indulging far more than I was.

If there is someone reading this today that is feeling out of control, or that they don't know how to get it back here are a few things that have helped me that you could think about.

1) Take it one meal at a time. One hour at a time if you have to. Stay in control where you can and really celebrate it when you do (but not with food/booze, as that kind of defeats the point - trust me, I could have so easily ordered a MASSIVE pizza last night to celebrate my weight loss but I know I would have felt so frustrated at myself afterwards for it).

2) Stop doubting. One really big barrier for me is all the previous times I have tried to lose weight, keep it off and failed. Why is this time any different? Why should I be successful this time? There is often a little voice in the back of my head telling me that I can't do it. That I will never be where I want to be, that I will never be beautiful. That I will never reach my goals. This week I told that voice to take a running jump of a cliff - I do not and will not let my disordered mind take over. My food addicted, self loathing, body hating 15 year old self stills lives inside my head - she probably always will but I know now that she is a part of my past. Instead of doubting youself, affirm yourself. Whatever works for you. Write affirmations on a mirror. Have them as the background on your phone. Stick them on your fridge door! Tell yourself what it is you really need to hear - not what the doubting voice inside is telling you.
You are a rockstar! You are awesome! You are powerful! You are strong! Whatever it is you want to feel, tell yourself that you are that - you deserve to feel empowered by yourself. Stop tearing yourself down and build yourself up instead.

3) Find a goal! This week, whenever I have wanted to cheat, or have that extra syn or go off plan - I've gone to my phone and looked at all of the pictures of wedding dresses I'm going to go and try on in few months. All of a sudden, that biscuit or piece of toast or whatever it was didn't seem so appealing - that wedding dress and the way I feel in it on the day I become Mrs Cooper is SO much more important than a piece of toast because I'm bored.

All of that happened in my head in 25mins!

I'm off on holiday for 2 weeks camping on Monday morning and I have a busy weekend of socialising ahead, so I will be arming myself with will power, determination and diet coke! We are catering for ourselves when we go away so that will help us stay more in control of what we eat but I'm sure there will be a few treats along the way. We are on holiday after all.

Remember - anyone out there feeling lost, or out of control - take a deep breath and start with one meal. Once that is out the way, you can think about the next meal. But start with one meal and be proud of yourself for taking the first step. I know you can do this!

Check in with you all soon,
Megan :) xx

The Ultimate Motivation!

Hey everyone!

It turns out that the best way to keep myself accountable is when I'm blogging/posting everything on social media for all my friends/followers to see. So here I am again, to stay on the straight and narrow and share my journey over the next year with you.

It has been way too long - it turns out that the life of a teacher does not leave a lot of time for blogging.... or anything else as it happens.

So I think it's time for a little catch up. Since the last time that I posted on here a lot of stuff has happened in my life.

I joined Slimming World on January 3rd this year, and since then I've lost 1st 8lbs which I am so proud of. I have a long way to go but I now have the ultimate motivation because on the 1st June, I got engaged!

I couldn't be happier - I am now the future Mrs Cooper. It's a little over a year until I get married and 100 days until I go wedding dress shopping for the first time.

For the last month, I've been feeling a little out of control, not staying to plan, not staying to group, eating crap, self sabotaging basically. This week I decided enough is enough - my wedding is something that I absolutely do not want to look back on with regret and I know that a lot of that will depend on how I look.

It seems vain, sure, but I have struggled with how I looked at some many occasions. So many parties, Christmases, my graduation, family birthdays where I've looked at the photos and been shocked at how I look, been disappointed at how big I look in them. I don't want to feel like that looking at my wedding photos. I know that Martin couldn't give a monkeys - he loves me regardless of my size - and I couldn't be more thankful for that but for me, I want to feel comfortable and confident on my day - not self conscious. I want to be able to enjoy going shopping for my dress without worrying about how large I am or how flabby I look!

This week has a been a totally different story - I had a look online at one of the bridal shops that I definitely want to go to in October and saw some absolutely stunning dresses - dresses that I REALLY want to try on and I feel more focused than ever. I know that I can do it this time. Slimming World has really made me feel that I can manage my food addiction (because that is 100% what I have) and stay in control of it for the future. I'm taking it one day at a time, planning my eating, staying hydrated and reminding myself that I want to do this for a really important reason.

I already feel so much better having lost over a stone and a half - my clothes fit better, I feel more confident wearing my clothes and have even bought some new clothes that I love wearing now.

I've set myself a mini goal of losing a stone in the next 100 days before I go wedding dress shopping, I feel that that is a good goal and will help we feel more confident as I try all the dresses on. If I can achieve my goal I will have lost 2 and a half stone in 10 months and I'm hoping that will make me more comfortable in the big white gowns!!!!

Exciting times ahead. I'm going to try and check in every weekend from now until then and update you all with my progress. Hope you can stay with me and follow my journey leading up to the big day!

Wish me luck
M xx